Taught Me How To See

Notice every tree
Understand the light 
Concentrate on now

I also met Janet Mock today so that’s a really big deal!
Her work, particularly the way she talks about body autonomy, has made me think a lot about recovery from eating disorders. 
“All of these parts of myself coexist in my body, a representation of evolution and migration and truth. My body carries within its frame beauty and agony, certainty and murkiness, loathing and love. And I’ve learned to accept it, as it is.”

Apparently it’s the seventh anniversary of Deathly Hallows, my favorite Harry Potter book. I remember this day very clearly, but not for reasons directly related to Harry Potter. It’s funny seeing people write about how excitedly they waited in Barnes and Noble seven years ago. Seven years and one night ago I wanted to go to Barnes and Noble with my sister but my crying mom stopped us and said I was killing myself. Seven years ago I was anorexic and seven years and one night ago my family and I talked and cried in my parents’ bathroom and my parents forced me to weigh myself in front of them as I heartbrokenly saw that I had lost even more weight. I will always remember that night - I will always remember going to bed and being afraid that I would go to sleep and die and not wake up. Seven years ago I woke up with no one in the house but a copy of Deathly Hallows waiting in the kitchen. I read the entire book in one day. I escaped my life for one day. Thank you for that, JK Rowling. 

Around a year ago I told this story for the first time to someone else. I used to tell only a very select few people about my previous eating disorder (I’ve fully physically recovered) and still felt a lot of shame, and as terrible as it is, guilt. I couldn’t even begin to talk about it without turning into a crying mess. He told me that he hopes one day I’ll be able to tell more people; that I won’t be ashamed and then it won’t haunt me as much. Thank you for that. I will tell more people. I hope I can help some people, and in the process also help myself. I think I have. 

(Source: thehpalliance)

“Femininity in general is seen as frivolous. People often say feminine people are doing “the most”, meaning that to don a dress, heels, lipstick, and big hair is artifice, fake, and a distraction. But I knew even as a teenager that my femininity was more than just adornments; they were extensions of me, enabling me to express myself and my identity. My body, my clothes, and my makeup are on purpose, just as I am on purpose.”

—   Janet Mock, Redefining Realness 

(Source: alisonroseishere, via girl-wonderful)

Also, I normally don’t like sex scenes in movies but this one was so perfect and fun and drunk and ideal

(Source: obviouschildmovie)

Words cannot properly express the amount of validation I felt when in the first minute of the movie Obvious Child Jenny Slate’s character does a standup routine where she talks about how disgustingly dirty her underwear gets at the end of the day from all her discharge. Seriously, I was always self-conscious about that and thought I just had an above normal amount of white gooeyness coming out of my vag every single day. This movie is really important for a lot of reasons but that was the first one that struck me - just proper representation and discussion of the female body, which is rare enough to find in real life much less in movies.
And of course this movie is important for finally addressing abortion in a really truthful way. A couple scenes that stuck out to me - before going to her appointment to get her abortion when she was in her tub shaving her legs, and after getting her abortion where she’s sitting in a room wearing a pink robe, surrounded by other women dressed the same who also came out from getting their abortions. And then one woman smiled at her, and she smiled back. I don’t know why those two images just made me think of womanhood and all that word involves, which is a lot. It just showed a version of womanhood that I think of a lot and it was beyond refreshing to see that in a rom com. 
Trying to get more into breakfast… 


The Prince of Egypt - concept art, 1998, Dreamworks animation

(Source: octoberspirit, via leannidus)

What a movie

(Source: meryylstreep)

“She was the kind of hard-drinking, salty-talking dame that they don’t make anymore…”

Rest in peace, Elaine Stritch

This is what true fucking theatre looks like.